Real vs. Fake ?? (real is NOT always better)

It's 8:30AM and my fake-inlaws are due around noon and I REALLY need to: change the sheets on their bed, scrub the shower, sweep downstairs and clean the toilets. What am I doing instead? IM'ing with my fake-husband, drinking coffee, and writing this I guess... Before any of you jump to conclusions, I am NOT one of those people that start a cleaning frenzy because people are coming to visit. I'm so over that. However, some regular maintenance stuff needs to be taken care of out of courtesy. So, with that in mind I'll finish my coffee, this post, my VERY important IM'ing and get busy. First though, some of you may be wondering, "what's all this "fake"? Fake-inlaws, fake-kids, fake-husband? Well, let me tell you. It's a title born of derision, but nurtured with love.

I got engaged a couple years ago. It was never a question of whether we wanted to be married, it's the timing that has always been the issue. So, we bought a home together and moved in with our children, where we've been living in peace and harmony. Almost. The kids know we'll be married eventually. My son began calling my fiance/partner, his step-dad, the other kids he called step-brother and sister. Then my fiance's ex made a snotty remark about us and we've been "fake" ever since.

One day she saw my son and I eating lunch downtown. She was with the kids and they all stopped in and said hello. Later she emailed their dad for something, (it's ALWAYS something) and mentioned, "oh, and by the way, I saw your fake-wife and son today". She hasn't been happy about my presence from the beginning. She'll tell you she has no problem with me, that she's glad the kids have another person in their life who loves them, but the truth is, she was livid when she learned we were becoming a family, as evidenced by the nasty emails she sent. Anyway, what was meant as a slur or a dig has been embraced by all of us. We OWN "fake" now. My partner and I are fake-spouses. I am his kid's fake-mom, my son is their fake-brother. They have no idea who first called us "fake" but they have fun with it none the less. We are a real family in every other sense of the word. We all love each other deeply. We trust, we share, we comfort, we fight. When we're not all together we miss each other and when we're together too much, we need a break. My fake-husband and I couldn't have imagined an easier transition to this new family situation. It's had times of stress and anxiety, but that's what any other family experiences. The fact that we all accept and protect each other is what defines us as "real". So throw down those nasty adjectives people, we can take it.